Greetings From Praha | Story 2 | Pt. 2

The Czech Republic

I cannot properly explain or describe what Prague is.
Please refer to Czech writers for that.
The following is grossly insufficient.
We will call it “the gist”

I wanted to go to a lot of places in my life.
The Czech Republic was never one of them.

Minus 20°, you can’t wipe the smile off my face.
I have landed on Mars.

Buildings yellow, peach, orange, and white. Romanesque, Rocco, and Baroque.
Each not belonging to the other. Perfectly placed side-by-side, familied by clay-red brick rooves.
Black soot settles on candy-colored dwellings, where shadows would naturally fall.
As old as the buildings structures themselves, darkness creeping in the shadows of light.

Five years out of communist rule, ending centuries of multiple occupations. Czechia is now free to define itself. The Czech people standing down in protecting their cities and their lives.

The weight of this decision was divided amongst them, to carry each day on the tram. People over forty are heavy. Those under thirty, literally tomorrow.

The sunshine is magnificent, buildings worthy of the sun.

We are spies in an old Russian movie, set in Bohemia.

In the barely-not dead of winter, most streets are empty except for us.
Surrounded by silence, just the whirl of the wind.
Amy’s heels click on the black brick streets, marking our pace.


Smazeny Syr ---- Fried Cheese of a lifetime
Country Sex Sharon ---- Old Russian Strip Club
Acropolis --- Where we drank Absinthe
Govinda ---- Hari Krisha Buffet & Naps

Becherovka --- Liquorish Liqueur for girls with big balls
KFC --- Lady paid us to hang out with her daughter
$1 US --- 20 Czech Crowns
800 Czech Crowns --- My Rent for the Month
107 --- # Of Times I played “Wonderwall”

Multi-Vitamin Juice --- What I’ll miss the most



Day 3 - The What’s What

She lights another cigarette rolled with weed and passes it over to me. As she breaks down for me what’s what.

“Ok so here’s the deal. You can gift pot to people but it’s illegal to buy it…. lemme see… Its free to go into the train station, you pay on the way out. So if you don’t have any cash, you can usually just walk out because the turnstile thing is right by the door.”

She takes another quick drag.

“So…” she exhales, “the concept of the police is still pretty foreign here. All the cops are these like 12-year-old boys that really don’t understand what their authority is. So since there’s no real crime here yet, they all just go around shaking down tourists for money. It’s Crazy. You see them all the time around the square during tourist season with their hands out…. Ok, now let’s teach you some Czech!”

I write this all down in my notebook.

Check! Check! Check!